I think the difference is highlighted in the definition of psychosis, "when people lose some contact with reality." My boyfriend, who also has bipolar, says he sometimes sees giant creatures. He can also visualise really well (might even have hyperphantasia). Some people in psychosis won't know that those creatures aren't real. That's one kind of reality-fantasy mismatch. He does know they're not real, but that doesn't mean he can remove them. That's another kind of reality-fantasy mismatch. But if he was just visualising them, he could just stop. I think the main thing is, if you can visualise, most people can't visualise things so well that they appear lifelike, unlike hallucinations. But even those who can (hyperphantasia), they still ultimately have a choice about what they imagine and for how long, whereas if you're in psychosis, you don't have as much control. (This is all from my observation and own research tho, I don't have bipolar, psychosis, or the ability to visualise, so take my opinions with a pinch of salt perhaps!)
I have a similar concern. I'd like to visualise again, but I am aware of things that would be traumatic to visualise too. My boyfriend mentioned hallucinogenics as a potential fix and that would be a reeeeaally interesting experiment (I have not done LSD before), but I too am really concerned that I may not be ready to regain visualisation, short term or long term, if it'll retraumatise me. Would be interested in other responses.
Hi Emma, Thank you so much for sharing that. I relate to your story a lot and wish you luck on your discovery :)
Reading through this post, I'm amazed how much I relate to it. I'm currently a primary school teacher in training and we're always told to read, read, read! However, unless reading something non-fiction that interests me, my mind goes absolutely numb with boredom, with little to no information being processed. I play a lot of video games and watch YouTube/Netflix for my entertainment. However, as a child, I was a massive bookworm and absolutely loved reading. I think this was due to my Aphantasia not developing until later on but the funny thing is, we can't visualise being able to visualise! So I'll never really know if I used to have the ability!Most of the people around me are able to visualise. It's not a life-like image (that's hyperphantasia - the opposite to aphantasia), but they can somehow picture things in a sort of blurry way I think.I stumbled across Aphantasia when a video came up on my YouTube recommended: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewsGmhAjjjI . It's an animated video about a girl who has Aphantasia talking about it and while she's mostly aiming it towards people who can visualise, assuming most of her audience can, I related completely to what she was saying and discovered I had Aphantasia! She does a little test in it which I have repeated to everyone around me and they've all somewhat been able to complete the visualisation and rate themselves at a normal level. When I learnt what other people could do with their 'mind's eye', I thought it to be a superpower too! My partner says he can look at someone when we're sitting on a bus and picture what they're able to see from their own eyes!I was raised in a religious household but am now agnostic so I'm not sure about the religious link, but it's a very interesting concept. I had real trouble with multiplication too, until I had it drilled into me. I also love playing keyboard and ukulele, but like you described, I always have to find the chords online every single time I want to play a song because they never reach my long-term memory, with the exception of a couple songs I played every single day on repeat for my GCSE's.The dreams you describe sound like premonitions, which my family have had a history of. I've not had one in a long time but I've had a few in my life so far. My mother and grandmother have some amazing premonition stories. I am able to dream, but each time I wake up, I only remember what I was dreaming for a couple seconds before the memory slips away for good. I can only remember dreams if, when I wake up, I acknowledge something significant about that dream. For example, I had a nightmare about drowning the other week, and I can't picture it now but I know it for a fact because I woke up very suddenly and immediately reflected on the fact that it was just a nightmare about drowning, and not a real event. This proves to me that I have the ability to visualise but when I'm concious, it all fogs up and my brain doesn't make those connections which I believe could be my brains way of protecting me from trauma, as I've talked about in my last post.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry to hear all of that, I hope you're a lot less stressed now and with someone who treats you right. Emotional abuse can really be as horrific as physical, or any other kind of abuse. I hope you also find ways of being independant, although in this current climate, I know that may be extremely challenging. It's interesting that your mother can't visualise either. Perhaps it's genetic or due to both of your pasts... Like you said, it will be interesting to see if anyone else has any ideas from their experiences. Best wishes x
I'm ISTJ and Aphantasic! I re-did the test because I hadn't done it in a while and never thought to make links between Aphantasia and personality. I don't think having a certain personality would effect whether you have Aphantasia but I certainly think having Aphantasia could effect your personality so this was really interesting! I looked at the questions very differently, making those links and it was super interesting so I recommend people retake the test if they haven't recently and see how some of the questions could maybe be seen differently to someone who isn't aphantasic. For example, one question talked about daydreaming which I do A LOT but in a completely different way to someone with a working mind's eye. I would also like to add that whenever I take the test, my answers differ and my results vary. So while I am ISTJ at the moment, that could change at any point as my personality changes. So the link between this and Aphantasia is most likely not direct, but I definitely believe having Aphantasia could influence your personality.
I don't know if other people with Aphantasia do this but the way I remember things is through facts. Otherwise, I don't think I'd have a memory. So like, I know Darth Vader is Luke's father (not a spoiler at this point, let's be honest) so if I rewatched that scene, I'm gonna know that's what happens so it won't exactly be like watching the film for the first time again. But I won't be able to picture it happening so there is some level of excitement there. However, as soon as it does happen, I tend to think "oh yeah, I remember this bit happening now".
Yeah, I absolutely have the same issue as this. My boyfriend often recalls moments of our first dates and key points in our relationship and for the most part, I know those things happened but because I have no mental image, it doesn't feel as special. However, on the plus side, I am also able to feel fairly detached when it comes to negative and even traumatic memories. While some people may get images "stuck" in their heads when someone describes something nasty, this is not an issue for me so sometimes that can be a blessing in disguise.
I haven't taken psychedelic drugs so I can't answer this but this question raised a lot of ideas and questions for me too. Like what if you could train your brain to visualise again by regularly taking psychedelic drugs and closing your eyes to visualise things? Or would you not have hallucinations and instead, just feel euphoric or something, similar to how other, non-psychedelic drugs may effect you. Interesting question.
It's weird because I actually do dream and I'm pretty sure my dreams are 'normal' like people without Aphantasia have. I think this because I know I can have life-like and lucid dreams where it feels like I'm really there. I often dream in third-person too which is weird, observing myself in different situations. However, when I wake up, I maybe have a few seconds of being able to remember some snapshots and then it all goes away. I remember things as facts. So if I retain something as a fact, I will be able to recall it. Like "Bananas are yellow" (as a very basic example). So unless I happen to think in the few seconds of me waking up "oh, that dream about being on holiday was cool" (and thus acknowledging a fact about the dream), I won't remember what happened at all, because that imagery part of my brain seems to 'fog up' when I am awake.