Marcin Kowalski

Reading your post I really felt as having similar "inner expierience". As I neither have a vivid memory nor imagination, I do not live in the past and once a problem of the present or future is resolved it literally disappears. This might make me slightly to forgiving to other people, unless someone tries to trap me in a neverending situation (I am divorced).Now that I am single again I have long stretches of tranquility, because once an issue is resolved it seaszes to matter.  I loved drawing as a kid and am still quite good but I could not draw anything from my imagination. Drawing a human I simply start with one eye, then the nose, the 2nd eye, but it never is part of a whole in my mind. It comes together on the paper, for better or worse. I mostly just drew from pictures.  I also love editing film material, I think I am quit creative, but my creative process does not start in the mind. I "explore and find" stuff while in progress of creation.   This might be for me also a reason why I love the visual medium. Reading a book is less fun for me. It might be emotional or exiting, but I never understood how other people converted words to pictures. I think , that is why I am a massive film fan, who loves beautifull movies, which are able to tell a story by visualls instead of words. My burden is, that I am awkward socially once a social relationchip goes to far (I think I might be an introvert). I can be logically empathetic. I can understand what others might go through, by I can never know or feel the others expierience.