My wife and I were also extremely different. She had both a photographic memory and an audiographic memory. I am a total aphantasic who does not generate any type of mental images. Her memory abilities made if so easy to remember events and textbook materials that she had not had to pursue developing her analytic abilities. As a pure cognitive learner, I do not have a good memory at all, but my analytical abilities are excellent. During our 60-year marriage, she was, in effect, a living encyclopedia of our lives. I helped her develop her analytical skills by challenging her solve various problems. Ever since she died from the COVID-19 virus, I have missed her greatly, but I have not experienced any strong emotions of grief. Similarly, I did not have any emotional reactions to the passing of my parents or my brothers. I simply accept death as being a natural part of the cycle of life. Surprisingly, I did have an emotional reaction when I first so the video of a 15 year old violinist experiencing her joy of performing in a manner my wife had experienced when she was a young violinist in a symphony orchestra.
The fact that I was unable to create visual images like most people became obvious to me when I started dating my future wife during my first semester of college. She spoke seven European languages and she told be how easy it was for her to both visualize the words and to hear in her mind how they were pronounced. She was surprised when I told her that I was unable visualize anything and that I could not play back her voice in my head. As we continued developing our relationship, I found out that she could experience other types of images in her mind such as she could imagine tasting foods, smelling odors, feeling pain, etc. I realized that I could not create similar experiences in my mind. For example, I recognize the taste of salt when I am actually consuming it, but I cannot experience creating that taste in my mind. Later, as a graduate student, I read a book by the psychologist Anne Roe. She mentioned that she thought there were four fundamental learning styles: visualization, auditory imaging, conceptual, and kinesthetic. That's when I realized that I am essentially a conceptual learner. That realization led to my understanding why I had felt very uninterested in applying myself to classes up through high school and even some college courses. Almost all of the classes I had ever taken involved a lot of memorization. Being a conceptual learner, I found courses that emphasized memorization to be boring and inherently frustrating--so I did not bother to try to get good grades. Learning that I am a conceptual learner, explained an event that confused my teachers and myself while I was a senior in high school. During the first semester of my senior year, I along with my classmates, took the Iowa Test. That test developed by the University of Iowa was designed to determine how well a student has learned the important things they should learn by their grade level. The test included questions in seven categories. The results were given for each category and their was a composite overall score. If a student had achieved a composite score of at least 30 points, they were among the top 99th percentile nationally. What the teachers could not understand was how I, a student with a C+ grade average, could have achieved a 34 points score for the composite score. After reading Anne Roe's book and thinking about Anne Roe's book, I realized that the most important things to learn in high school are concepts. In other words, I had learned what was important to learn without bothering to memorize trivia for tests. Reading and thinking about my inability to generate realistic images of any kind, has given me insight to another phenomenon--I do not react emotionally to many events. For example, whenever I have been notified of a death of a relative, even my wife, I did not feel any strong emotions. To me, death is simply part of living--it can happen to anyone at anytime. I do tend to react emotionally about people or animals being abused.