Sarah Tobias

This was interesting. I thought of a red ball, I'm pretty sure that's because the last ball that I saw was a little red ball. It was on a green ping pong table. Not sure why. And when asked to imagine someone pushing the ball and thinking about what happens, my first thought was to think about how people will put their hand on the ball and pull it toward them before pushing it away. I never saw any of this. It was like remembering a dream where somethings remain clearly intact in my thoughts and other things are hidden in the darkness. When asked the questions, more things began to come to mind, such as the setting was our basement and I think it was my husband who was pushing the ball.

What is normal? While I can't diagnose you, I believe this is in the aphantasia spectrum. I experience my aphantasia much like you. I have found that if I begin to free write in my journal, more and more memories come out of the little flash. I am beginning to think that you can adapt and use different tools to "visualize". The key for me has been accepting that this is how my brain works and then flowing with it's style. The more I think, the more I try to make the "visions" clear, the faster they disappear.

Yes! It feels a bit out of body or a bit woo-woo like I'm channeling a spirit, the universe, or angels. Or that I'm claircognizant.  It's very strange because, I am not attached to a religion and not sure if I even believe in God. And I'm not sure I believe in the clair's. The more I let go of trying to accept or deny those things, the more experiences I have. And then I wonder if it matters whether I know if any of these things are real or not. I have also found that when something comes in, if I free write about it, I get even more information. I often call the knowing and how I hear a voice in my head my inner narrator. 

I always get homesick. I suspect you were just happy with your adventure. There's no reason to feel guilty about enjoying your life. It seems like it's exactly where you wanted to be.

My images flashes seem to appear on the right side. It feels like an invisible spirit is pulling it up and and quickly taking it away. The less I concentrate on it, the more, my inner voice can download information. As a Gemini, I have thought of it as my alter ego and I have joked that there are two of me. I actually see things better with my eyes open, and because description comes from my inner voice, quiet helps. Like when people keep sharing possible answers, I want to scream. It block the voice and images. It’s all very sensory and sometimes feels like an out of body experience.

I have a very similar experience. I get flashes that appear so quickly, I can’t focus on them. When I try and push to see and remember, it disappears. When I let go of seeing the image and just begin to express myself verbally or in writing, my inner voice takes over and descriptions appear. For me it feels like a card catalog of photos that I have stored in my subconscious and they are only accessible when I let go of trying to see them. I also find that I’m a very kinesthetic learner. The more ways I physically take in information, the more links and images I have to pull out of my file system.