mynd

How they made me feel throug out my life is how I remember them that I have lost. Some of the strongest feelings come from moments of growth or understands we shared. I have never heard nor seen them as I remember them but with my eyes open I can sorta see there face superimposed in my thoughts.

I found out almost 40 years ago while in algebra class the teacher was teaching us relaxation techniques. Part of the exercise was to visualize an A floating in a stream. I could not but knew the rest of the class could. I took note of this but never considered it a deficit. I knew from a very young age that I processed things differently. I was full of energy and learned things by a form of imagination. I watched the older kids riding the bike and wanted a turn at 4. They said no until I wore them down and they put me on the bike and had to call the parents to go get me. My dad bought me a bike at Christmas when I was 4 1/2 and I rode it first try also.I have spent most of the years trying to reverse engineer my thought process and the best I can describe it is that I add to my memory a feeling like how did it make me feel. This is a great advantage when trying to fix something because how it will feel working is the solution.The gift is if you only seek the truth the solution to problem is something you just feel. Your experiences become your reward and if you are born to be inquisitive you end up with, I will say a very strong gut instinct but you know how why and what for to do something, my experiences are gathered together when I need a solution to a problem and I kind of smell the solution out and weigh it to calculate percentage of success rate by noting all the good and bad in it.Only desiring the truth and excepting your wrong is easier for me because a lie has never had a place in my memory and vigilantly processed before true is recognized.I am totally blind in the mind's eye but wonder if it is not an evolutionary advance because I have not found where I could be more efficient with the ability to imagine something because to feel it work has always seemed like a gift to me.