No mind's eye? What about a mind's nose?

1 min readBySamantha Beard
Hello! I'm new here. My name is Sam, and I'm an artist with aphantasia. I did not understand this about myself until a couple years ago, and always thought the language of visualization was metaphorical. I've always been an artist, crafting, drawing, painting, sculpting, any visual media I could get my hands on. I think my brain enjoys creating things so I can see what I imagine, though it's a struggle to make that happen sometimes. Earlier today, I was chatting with a friend and they asked me what it's like for me to try to recall what I was wearing yesterday. I explained how I have a conversation with myself about what happened, what I did, and that typically leads me to a verbal memory of the articles of clothing I wore. I might also remember how my clothes felt yesterday. Thinking about this made me realize how crucial words and sensations are to my day-to-day thoughts. Here's my question for you all. Is there another sense (hearing/taste/touch) that you use to tell you about the features/details of past events? Do you rely on verbal descriptions like I do, or something else? How much do your body sensations play into what you remember? Thanks for reading, and I'm looking forward to getting to know some of you more!
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Hi Sam! I did a degree in ceramics, audit was talking with others in my class that led me to realise that "seeing in your mind" wasn't just a sort of metaphorical thing. For me it explained why I enjoyed working with clay - all the tactile sensations and the volumes of the thing, which I can "feel" in my hands and arms when I think of it. I was reasonably good at life drawing - being able to effectively copy from what was in front of me. I'm also fairly good at taking photographs, in that I see what is actually there in the viewfinder (or on the screen) rather than what my mind is hoping for or imagining? Which means that I notice the whole image, and avoid things like spires sticking out of peoples heads or distracting red signs just behind the main subject. I recall and dream mostly with a sense of space and movement, and emotional content. So I can often draw an accurate map of the house my dream took place in, and write in where the doors / bridge / pool or whatever where. But I didn't visualise those things even in the dream, and certainly not afterwards. I experience the movement through the space - how far I moved, how fast, - but I don't see the walls, I just "know" they are there. I occasionally hear things really clearly in dreams, sometimes loud enough to wake me just as I'm falling asleep which is confusing. Like you I find that words are important. The way I describe something to myself if a crucial part of my committing something to memory. I can memorise poetry and scripts, and use words to remember movements. As a martial artist and teacher, a lot of techniques have "nic-names" that describe the movement or position required. Faces however I find really really difficult - people tend to have two eyes, nose, mouth... then I'm onto the colour of their hair, whether they have a beard... then obvious jewellery and clothing, which is rarely much use for recognising them again! Everyone kind of looks the same!
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Krystle Ruanorecently
Hello. I am 37/yr old female. I recently discovered I also have aphantasia when it was explained to me by someone else more familiar. I started to wonder if it also affects my sense of smell (oldfactory). I very often notice that I cannot smell things others mention, or I think somethings smells nice, and someone else says it is not a good smell. I cannot meditate after trying for years, my dreams are almost always vague, I cannot remember what people look like, I always get lost. Yet I have an excellent memory of conversations, dates, reading material etc.
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Mick Holmshawrecently
It is interesting to hear of the variety of ways people remember things. Unfortunately I haven’t figured this out yet …. I’m only 59 so there’s still time 😉. I have an internal dialogue but that internal voice also can’t remember what I was wearing yesterday, nor can it recall directions, faces, languages, etc. Like Corina, I find the idea of using a myriad of senses to recall things to be completely overwhelming - but I can absolutely understand how it would help with recall. A few years ago I was in a book group and we were reviewing a book set in a remote hut in the Arctic. The first few chapters gave a detailed description of their location, hut, sleeping quarters etc. I found this completely pointless as I couldn’t imagine/picture it. Everyone else said it was an incredible piece of writing and they felt like they were actually there and could smell the aromas, imagine the state of the hut, etc. I just wondered why they didn’t save three chapters and draw a map instead 🤷‍♂️. I didnt get invited back! The idea of feeling all my senses recreating the image being described blows my mind - but I wish I could try it.
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Corina Wachterrecently
I recently had a very interesting conversation with a visualizer, and realized that I have zero sensate memory or emotional memory. He described being able to imagine/remember physical sensations, smells, tastes, emotions, and I have none of that. I can describe some smells in words if pressed, but cannot actually remember or imagine them. I have aural memory of songs and voices I have heard often, and I have spatial memory that has no visual component but allows me to "remember" faces, what my home "looks like," etc., but other than that my entire thought process is in words. When I think, I have a "conversation" in my head with myself or with someone else as the one I am "speaking to." That is how I think the vast majority of the time, except if I get a song stuck in my head, and usually end up listening to it to clear it out. The conversation led me to discover something called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory, which I have now realized I have. I also have what used to be called Asperger's Syndrome, and when the visualizer I was conversing with described all the myriad senses involved in his remembering or imagining, I was literally repulsed by how utterly chaotic it sounded to me. I "remember" events as if they are simply a factual recounting of what I experienced, without any sensate, physical or emotional memories attached. I also cannot have flashbacks to my abusive childhood (which prevented me from realizing I have CPTSD for quite some time). I always knew I was different, but it really blew me away to realize just HOW MUCH my thought process/memory is different from others'.
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